Guest Post: Seniorita Margarita

I've decided that everyone that some to visit me gets to do their own guest appearance on my blog. I've decided this because that way you all can see what I deal with every day through a different set of eyes, and since my mom took it upon herself to use the comments sections to basically create her own posts anyways. So here it is a post from My mother:

Hey followers of Rachel's Blog, I have arrived and other than a few naps pretty much good to go. I have already been on a couple of walking tours....one to get groceries and one to see the basic lay of the land . I don't think I have to worry about the calories here because I can easily work off quite a few just as a normal day. Allie took me under her wing today and we walked all over the place...old town new town a castle etc. We had a great lunch and then went to where Rachel was working and ...good news they let her go early...We are all in the library now furiously typing the latest info. last night we went out.... the girls let me off the hook and told me we didn't have to go but I told them I was old and didn't have any time to waste. The second part of my good news is we went to a karaoke bar and saw some pretty good talent, lots of laughs and found a beer I really liked.- It just happens to be the cheapest one in the UK it was fun fun fun.... well since I am a guest blogger ( and I am old ) I better not waste too much time .

I'll see you later ..........................Anne

Jump up jump up and get down

So just to refresh your memory, this is my boyfriend.

He is a regular customer who came in during the holiday season wearing a red home knitted red cardigan on. Eager to use my newly acquired British vocabulary I quickly said "wow I really like your jumper" He laughed and said yea it was his winter cardigan and also applauded my use of jumper. he then informed me that that was not indeed his best jumper. There was a a blue warlock hiding in his sweater arsenal that was also knitted but also included large snowflakes. At one I needed to see this sweater. He promised he would wear it next time I he was in. He then came for the next 6 weeks in said jumper, each time at a part of the day when I was not working. My coworkers informed me of this and then of course the fated day when our schedules matched I saw this jewel. It was everything I had ever dreamed of. By this time he had been wearing ti for so long that it was obviously too heavy for the weather and he had taken the liberty to add a large A badge on the chest for his initials of course. I was dazzled. It was a really "you had me at hello". Of course my friend here said but wait I have an even better jumper. But its kind of a friends of mine's and it might be hard to get, but I'll see what I can do. I thought to my self, 'could it be true? Better then initialed snowflake sweater? I'll believe when I see it." Well that fateful day came last weekend. I had actually finished my shift and just so happened to be having a coffee with Allie, when I spotted my friend slipping what I thought must have been a mirage over his head. He marched in wearing the sweater above. If you can not see it that would be a row of pink elephants, followed by large clowns, and trick ponies, accompanied by various stars and diamonds. It also had various holes. I was at a loss for words and found it hard to breathe- is this what heaven feels like? I thought to myself.

Messages to pass on:

*yesterday I was walking up the stairs on the bus to the upper level and I fell, like I do most times, but this time I grabbed onto the calf of the man walking in front of me. When I went to go down the stairs to get off the bus I fell and ended up sitting down on the stairs and hitting my head on a ledge.

*a man came into Starbucks today and asked for a baked potato.

*my mom got here yesterday and I couldn't be happier!!!!! Since I've been gone she seems to have amputated her own legs and replaced them with those from an Ethiopian.

Crazy Bus

So after our epic adventure to Snodonia (ya that was the name of the place I told everyone that we were getting there by all holding hands, thinking happy thoughts, and stepping into a wardrobe), we had to take antoher night bus back to Edinburgh from London.

Well let me tell you this was the most incredible bus journey I've ever been on. It started out that we got prime back seats mine with ample feet space and Britt and Allie sharing the back bench. I didn't have anyone beside me and I really wanted to keep it that way so I spread my stuff out. the lady across the isle noticed and told me to pretend to sleep across the seats. She then proceeded to tell me everytime anyone was heading my way and when to close my eye etc. Excellent. I have gain a new friend- who had my six all the way.

So it was time to leave the station so the bus driver gets on the intercom. A Scottish fellow introduces himself and lays down the rules. I will try and use the exact wording that he did for full effect
Rule number 1: you must keep your shoes on- not because of safety issues, because some people have smelly feet and he doesn't want that on his bus.
Rule number 2: there are washrooms on board. Please use them with care. By that I mean no number 2's Please do not leave your luggage in the washroom.
Rule number 3: wear your seat belt at all times. Without it if I brake hard I'll break your spine hard.

I was obviously in hysterics after this- not only because bathroom humor is some of my favorite but because I was so overtired I was hallucinating. My laugh at this point had transformed into an old man wheeze- which I of course laughed harder at creating a vicious cycle.
He then came down the isle and handed out candy to every passenger. I was still in stitches so he proceeded to ask me if I was on medication.

The remainder of the bus trip basically consisted of the bus driver singling Britt out for breaking all the rules and getting in trouble (actually I don't think she broke rule number 2 but the other ones she got caught big time). He actually said "I don't know what you think this is some kind of Greyhound sleeper bus but on here you have to wear you seat belt". Excellent international bus system knowledge sir, a big touche to that.

Sondon Mountain- AKA Mount Everest.

Alright as promised I will now catch you all up on teh last couple weeks of adventure.

Alright on the Easter long weekend Allie, Britt and I went to Wales to meet up with our friend Nick and some of his friends. We were all going to stay at a hostel and do a little hiking for the weekend. Well Nick lives in London so we figure hey you know what a good way to get there would be- take a 12 hour over night bus through wales, down to London only to have to drive back up to Wales to get where our final destination would be. Ya brilliant idea ass hats. The bus was terrible, but we got there, and in the same day I enjoyed my first ever journey on the London Underground- it was stuffy and old.

So anyways us girls, Nick, and five of Nicks Polish friends rented a min bus to go up to Wales. Fantastic! what a trip we took our time and arrived at the hostel on Saturday evening. The hostel was beside a place called Swallow falls, but most of our companions referred to it as swollen falls- really you can decided for yourself which is worse. We then retired after a few night caps and prepared for what we thought to be a casual hike the next morning.

WRONG

the casual hike was actually climbing the biggest mountain in the UK outside of the Scottish Highlands- WTF. I was wearing jeans and running shoes. There were actually parts on this hike were I was ranting curse words and basically figuring out how to tell everyone I wasn't going to keep going without looking like a fat slob. In the end we all made it to the summit. I actually was so pissed off but the pictures that I scored on the summit pretty much made it worth it:

I'm actually crying behind my sunglasses filled filled rage and angst.

That night we went to the pub in our hostel and got tanked. The combination of exhaustion and sheer anger really drove us all to ingest cocktails. There we met a couple English guys who proceeded to tell us how everyone referres to the Welsh as "Sheep Shaggers". One of them then went into vivid detail of who they accomplish this shagging of sheep. Please ask for details if you wish to know- it involved big rubber boots and the edge of a cliff.

Bob Sagget

I unfortunately came to the library at 12:30, and apparently on Saturdays it closes at 1:00pm so I have no time to have a proper blog. I thought I would give you a tid bit though to lure you all into reading my next few blogs because they are going to be epic. Topics shall include my trips to Wales, climbing the highest mountain in the UK outside of the Scottish Highlands, and epic overnight bus trip, and my Boyfriend from Starbucks who wears different cardigans to impress me. This is my favorite one so far:

yes those are pink elephants.

Witchy woman

So on Tuesday Allie and I ventured out on a ghost tour. It started at 9:30 from the Royal mile adn includede a tour of The North Bridge, Colton Cemetary, Colton Hill, and finished with a pint at The Bank ( a bar on the royal mile). Our Tour guide kept reffering to himself as someone from Edinburgh, and a Scot, however I deduced that he was actually from New Jersey, possibly upstate New York. He was quite animated either way and gave a decent tour. He also opened my eyes to the fact that someone from Edinburgh is known as an Edinburgher- he pronounced Edin-burger, and I now try and find anywhere possible to use this title.
Anways the tour way not so much scary as it was overly entertaining. High lights would have to include the tour guide breaking into song to add effect to a story. It wasn't jus thtat fact that he decided to sing, but the passion he put into the tune was...just beautiful.
We then ventured up a hill and learned about evil faries and witches. We were told that there were three things that people looked for when hunting for witches in the 1700.
1. Ginger hair- at this I gasped in horror, and all the other (non-ginger) people on the tour looked and laughed
2. Birth marks- who doesn't have one- again I was astonished- onlookers began the creep aways slowly
3. Thrid nipple- saved by the bell- but not without everyone on the tour staring at me with anticipation to see my reaction. What if I was like ya I have a nubbin- I may have lost my life with these blood thristy tourists.
While on the final leg of our tour we were joined by a very intoxicated woman who began asking where we were from and what we were doing. She sounded just like Charro and proclaimed to everyone that it was her birthday. We had to sing to her, and then she set us straight that it was not her birthday by yelling the F word, that she loved us lighting a big cigarette and saying she was a great cook. She of course was a very welcome addition to the tour and I believe she even scammed her way into a free drink ticket at the pub. Either way she was dancing up a storm by the time we left the pub.
After proclaiming my status as a seudo witch, we headed to the Bank- where miracle upon miracles it was kareoke night. We entered the doors being serinaded by a very intense rendition of Hero by Inreque Iglasias. INCREDIBLE.
Kareoke in this bar means that you get up, sing a song, and then they give you a free shot of vodka. So the entertainment didn't stop all not. We got a great rendition of 'in the navy-the village people' by two very drunk young men, followed up by Collio's Gangster's paradise. Two men performed this; one man only doing the rapping bits, the other only the singing chorus. When one would be performing his portion the other would aid by yelling "beeotch" or "jaba" intermitantly.

Now I'm in London headed up to Wales for a weekend hiking trip. We are going to Snodoneia (I feel like I have to enter this magical kingdom through a wardrobe or soemthing with a name like that.)

Messages to pass on:
*Happy Easter!!!!!
*people in Scotland are so weird.

Destiny Achieved

First things first need to catch up on somethings that I said I would post about
The movie the Heathers- did not disappoint. I recommend everyone go out and rent it and then bask in how amazing Wynona Ryder really is.
In regards to the Joker from last weekend, my gut reaction was indeed to let him know that I have a sister who is indeed a dead ringer for Mr. Leadger, however I quickly thought that said gentleman would not quite get the irony of his comment and instead think that it was okay to have further conversation with me- which was definatly not okay.
Heather your comment on my last blog made me high pitch laugh out loud- I wasn't really laughing at the barfing bit, more at the fact you wear nightdresses now. I didn't realize you aged 35 years in the time I've been gone.
Mom, I can't wait for that hug! I keep thinking of new and exciting things to show you here and I think you are really going to enjoy yourself!!!

Now for the most epic and amazing news of the trip so far:

On Saturday I worked until 1:00pm and then Allie and I took a stroll down to a local book store. There we carefully selected two children's books- mine was entitled Ugenia Lavender- and the burning pants. Then we joined a small but eager line of people (none of whom were infact children), who had also recently selected similar books. After an anxious 30 ute wait I then feasted my eyes upon the author of the book, and immediately knew that the £4.99 I had just spent on a children's book I had never heard of before was totally worth it. As the author entered the crowd erupted with clapping and yells of "we love you Gerri". Soon it was my turn in line to get my book autographed. As soon as our eyes met I knew we had a deep connection, not only because of our gingery locks, but something that kindred spirits shared. The inscription was "Love Gerri x x". If this initial contact wasn't enough to solidify our new BFF status surely the conversation that ensued gave the world all the proof it would need:
G: Hi how are you
R: good how about yourself
G: great thanks, are you Canadian too
R: yes
G: did you too come over together (referring to Allie who had just had her copy signed)
R: no not really
G: oh
R: yea she was just here kind of and I had a place to stay and now... ya we are here together now sort of (clearly too much detail)
G: okay bye
R: .....(no response)

Rachel Leier + Gerri Haliwell a.k.a. Ginger Spice =Soul Mates

Picture proof to follow
ps- the picture proof is even better then the conversation- I really made an impression.

UPDATE: