Boxing "just another excuse for Scottish people to party" day.

Last night Britt and I went out for the first time in Edinburgh to a night club. We went with a girl from my work. She weighs about 35 pounds I think she drank about 75 litres of alcohol- this is what happens when you do that:

Here are some more interesting things that I witnessed:

ample ass space on that seat

"dancing"

her mother would be proud.

Messages to pass on:
*just drink those pictures in
*Apparently Edinburgh is world renown for being the greatest place in the world for new years eve. awesome.

Happy Christmas

So Christmas day has come and gone. Spending Christmas away from home is a funny thing. It can go many ways:
option 1: The Bridget Jones- drunk, alone, crying, singing 90s ballads
option 2: The Scrooge- act like its no other day and try and get on with things but you can't cause nothing is open
option 3: The Scotsman- act as you would on ANY other bank holiday and get loser pissed with your buddies at a night club (that is open on Christmas day)
option 4: The Right thing to do- combine new traditions with old and make a memorable time.

Option 4 was chosen... haha yea right that sounds way too nice and Hallmark like. I'd say I did a little of all options. I was scrooging it up most of the week prior to Christmas- I was working a lot and it doesn't snow here so I wasn't feeling very Christmas-ie. Then Britt and I went for the right thing to do, we combined some our family traditions and had our selves a lovely Christmas eve and morning. We got each other one gift each and a stocking. For the one gift the two of us bought each other the exact same CD- this is where the Bridgett Jones comes into play because we obviously put it straight on and belted Take That tunes. 11am came and we had to go to work. I work for 9 hours, serving North American families who loved me because I reminded them of home, speak audible English, am witty, and good looking. I loved them because they were not informed that no one tips here (fist pump followed with a long drawn out yesssssssss).

The only people working serving that day were me my three managers and a Nigerian guy name Dozi who had gotten jumped the night before so his front teeth were broken so I had to talk to all his table because he was too scary. The guys were all wearing kilts it was hilarious. One of the highlights of the day would be a point were we were really busy and my one manager has a thick accent and also mumbles and he tried to tell me something and I yell speak English at him- just as the owner rounded the corner. He said I was listening in Canadian and he was speaking Scottish, then hit the otter guy on the back of the head and told him to speak properly.
That night Britt, I Dozi, the one manager and the owner and his family had Christmas dinner. It was awesome, good turkey, board games, and a lot of port and champagne. It was actually so nice that they invited us. And I got to speak to all my family- it was great!!!

I don't think I'd like to ever work on Christmas again even though I made about 150 pounds ($300).

Messages to pass on:
*Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!!!
*Over here Santa does not live at the North pole in a house or cottage- no he lives in a gratto. Children often talk about Santa's gratto and all I can think of is Santa in some cave like hot tub surrounded but hoochey elves.
*Here is a picture of my Christmas tree and the Angel I made for the top of it out of Werthers and reices pieces wrappers

Black Friday

Well, I worked my first close at the pub last Friday night. Let me explain to you my day, in full that day. I woke up at six so I could be at work at seven. I worked at a different Starbucks then I usually do from 7am-11am. Then I walked over to my Starbucks, in torrential rain, and worked from 11am until 3pm. I then walked, in torrential rain, to Princess street to buy new shoes because mine were a. rain soaked and b. had a giant hole in the toe and were totally pov. Didn't find shoes in time to be at work at the pub at 5pm. Started work where I VERY quickly realized I'm shit at my job (this wasn't clear to me already even though two nights before I smashed four and a half pint glasses in one swoop, on my manager's shoes). The bar was pretty busy because we get a DJ in on Friday and Saturday and there is a dance floor and a popular pub just up the road was on fire so all the people who got avacuated just came into our pub-apparently not even arsen can stop teh party. Anyways I'm bad at my job because of a few things:
1. I can't understand Scottish accents
2. I can't understand Scottish accents when there is music thumping in the same room
3. I can't understand Scottish accents when there is music thumping in the same room and the person talking is hammered and slurring
4. I don't know any of the made up drinks any of these people are ordering.
5. The register is bizzar and it takes me forever to find what the F the drinks being ordered are.
In general if you order a drink form me you'll either get the wrong thing or I'll rip you off.

The night was full of highs and lows- I was exhausted and was basically in a glass case of emotions because I was either killing my job or getting killed by it- no in between. The aforementioned reasons why I suck at my job lead to some different things. One is that a lot of the old men ordering would get tired of me asking them over and over to repeat heir order and just yell that they want a MGD instead. The second one would be when a customer leaned in to give an order and so did, as I had done before a million times that night. This gentleman however decided to kiss me. Great- One way ticket on his ass by the doorman- actually it was awesome I laughed so hard. Third was the drunk girl asking me if there was a lost and found. I asked her what she had lost and she replied "all of my personal belongings".

The night finished at 3:00am when I got home. The next day I worked from 12pm - 10pm. I wanted to kill myself. This night's highlights would have to be the very intoxicated man maintaining constant eye contact with me well yelling the lyrics to "my sex is on fire" by kings of Leon and then ask for my phone number. Its all over though and it was actually all quite amusing. After those long days one would probably think to go home after work on Saturday night. Not I. Britt brought me some clothes to change into and we were off to a pub called The last drop.

There we met some incredible specimens. The first was an Irish man whose first line to us was "Hey theres an accent- are you Spanish?". I'll let you take that in. We obviously kept talking to him. This lead to him asking if our provincial flag had the union jack in it. I said yes- and he got upset because Irish people really don't like British. I said to him yea there is nothing we can do about it though. He replied, and I quote, "Yes there is; car bombs". He went on to explain that we should use car bombs to change our provincial flag and ended the conversation by taking our hands and having us say "car bombs on three...one, two, three, CAR BOMBS". Wow.

After having an incredible laugh over that I was approached by a British guy, suffering from a mild case of gingervitus, a lot like myself actually (see link for definition). He hit on me for a while and then it hit me he looked just like Colin from Love actually and that is what Britt and I called him the rest of the time- adding in movie quotes whenever possible.

Britt and I were both off on Sunday and got to spend the day shopping and hanging out it was awesome- really worked on our roomie relationship. Good times.

Messages to pass on:
*Our boss at the pub invited us to have Christmas dinner with him and his family in the dinning room at the pub. Super nice/lucky
*I will have pictures of our " Christmas corner" in our flat soon- its amazing.
*I got new shoes for work- don't worry.
*dad keep up the good work with the falling stories- I disturb the library with my laughter.
*there is a man on the computer beside me who keeps raising his arm and waving his middle finger around in a circle- I'm not sure if he is looking for help or what.
*Christmas came early tahnks to Sandi

Top Ten

I find myself at the library again this evening. This time I'm situated beside two girls, who I would say are about 14. They seem to be doing some research for a school project or something, but I'm not sure if they are getting the material they are looking for because I'll I've witness them do is yell out the F-word, belch, and slam the keyboard repeatedly. Constructive work girls.

Today I went to work at 5:45am instead of 8:00am- nice work ass hat.

I read another intersting article in the paper today. It was the top nine most well know people in the world (heaven forbid they do the full ten). It was by a British agency, I'm not sure which one, but it must be legit because the list seems quite acurrate. Here it is in order from most known:
1. Simon Cowell
2. God (a close second I can imagine)
3. The Queen
4. Santa Claus
5. David Beckam
6. Jesus
7. Lewis Hamilton
8. Barak Obama
9. George Busch

Sorry Jesus, no top five finish for you this year, there is really no room at the inn this Christmas, expecially without your celebrity status to fall back on.

Are you kidding me- I don't even know who Lewis Hamilton is (looked it up- British Racecar driver). And Simon Cowell beat the likes of Santa Clause- well good thing he is stinking rich becuase after snubbing the man in red I'm pretty sure he'll have to delivery the presents this year.

After pondering this article for quite some time I then read the fine print at thebottom. Results from survey conducted with 1600 children under the age of 10. Here I am preparing for the appocolypse of the world due to one giant smiting of the Earth by the combined 2/5 finish of the Almighties when really these are the oppinions of British school children probably coaxed into answering odd-ball questions. But are these kids sniffing glue- Simon Cowell over Santa. Ya ya not every child celebrates Christmas- but all children long for Santa to come down their Chimney, even if they are busy playing with their dradell or confined to their windowless kingdom of god buildings for no celebrations what-so-ever. Give me a break. And Barack Obama and George Busch- pretty sure if I were being asked when I was seven or eight politicians would not be included and I'm pretty sure there would be a solid showing of answers like "my mommy & daddy"

This survey rocked my world.

Messages to pass on:
*I got a Christmas tree for 97 pence and decorated it including an angel made out of worther's orgional wrapers, and reices peices paper cups - Heather you would be proud
*I looked at teh brige cam today and I can't beleive the snow there!! Gald I'm not crising in the volvo this year
*gloves without fingers are the dumbest things I've ever seen- when was teh last time you were outside and thoguh to yourself, wow my palms and wrists are really cold.
*Heather hows Chico Patulla?

Partner Appreciation

I'm currently in the public library using the Internet. Why?
1.its free
2.I alienated myself at my local Internet cafe-two days ago I actually went into the Internet cafe and used the computers and when they wouldn't accept my payment in Euros (probably because that isn't the currency here), I said I'd come back later and haven't been back since.
3. you get to witness things like the man "studying" beside me- aka sleeping on a book entitled "Hello, is it me you're looking for?- the story of Alexander Graham Bell".

I'm working lots at Starbucks, getting to know the regulars. My favourites would have to be (in no particular order)
- stone cold fox from the states who always informs me of how long I've been in Scotland for-just wants to talk to me so bad
-two business men who think I'm American and therefor its okay when I often refer to them as life partners
-super hot British dad who now lives in Seattle but informs me every time he comes in that he "traveled to Banff and it was so beautiful, like a lot of things from Canada..."

Sandi there is a plethora of staff members who I'd love for you to meet. I mean there is no drive thru so there are no partners who know customers by the sound of there voice and asking them deeply personal questions, but you know there is going to be some shit show no matter where you work. Well this one sobs uncontrollably often, and is constantly asking me if I'm alright and tells me she is concerned that I'm not my usual self. This question actually came at 7:00am the second time I EVER met her and I found myself channeling Cluny and responding to her question with "Ya I'm fine. You literally don't even know me so I'm not sure where you are getting that I'm not my usual self, seriously." Quickly realizing that I pretty much verbally assaulted this girl who already lives teetering on the emotional edge, I followed up with a cheery "thanks for asking though" and went into the staff room without making any eye contact. I realized my original action may have been the right one when she told me three more times that day that I didn't seem myself- for f sakes lady. I actually felt quite bad and made it my mission to be pleasant to her. This was fine until she pulled some move and jokingly I responded "are you on drugs" as I would to anyone, friend or foe, as she responded "don't joke about that someone told our district manager that I was on drugs and now he really doesn't like me." Alrighty. TELLE HOO HOO.


I'll give everyone time to digest. In other news, Scottish people bet on everything. LITERALLY everything. This morning while reading the news paper I read through Ladbrokers (the betting agency) list of odds. Here are some of my favorites that I'm considering betting on (not making this up- actual money bets):
-what the number one Christmas single will be
-who is going to win dancing with the stars
-if its going to snow on Christmas (specific to postal code no lees)
-who is going to get third in dancing with the stars.

Messages to pass on:
*I here its nice and warm there...
*another package?!!? LUCKY
*dear Moxie, don't let anyone tell you you are not a lady anymore.

UPDATE- an old man just fell up the staris in the library. Too goo dto be true- I actually had to go back into this post just to tell you about how much joy it brought me.
PS he's fine & I love the library.

Side Stepping Sidewalks

So there is something really interesting about Edinburgh that Britt and I have come across and until recently could not figure out. If you are walking down the street, any street, any day of the week, any time of the day, you will more often then not come across a pile of puke. Really, anywhere- more then one if you are walking a bit of a distance. Britt and I could not figure it out at all- until I was walking to work on Friday (around 9:30 am) and witnessed an old man stop, barf all over the sidewalk, wipe his mouth on his sleeve, and continue on his merry way. I actually burst out in laughter. I continued to laugh, until literally five minutes later, I witnessed another man- similar description- repeated the actions of the man before. My laughter stopped. There are crotchety old men blowing chunks all over this city, and its not pretty. Britt and I are both boggled by these occurrences.

Britt also had a great sighting of crotchety old man sighting- as she walked home form work a lady approached an old Man (basically a stereotypically tiny Scottish man in plaid) to ask for directions. The old man screamed fuck off in here face and went on his way. I had to site down because I was laughing so hard when I heard this story. I hope you guys have the same vision and are brought the same joy.

Messages to pass on:
*the purple triscuits you sent me mom are unreal- I thank God everyday for their invention
*I've come to realize that Asians with Scottish accents are an incredible wonder of the world (I work with two!)
*on Wednesday everyone I worked with at Starbucks was Canadian- we blew customer's minds
*I was asked by a guy at my pub if I was Australian- it was like the moment in Dumb and Dumber when Lloyd responds lets throw another shrimp on the barbie when told the lady is Austrian.

"Work Experience"

I long for the days where I could be on the Internet anytime I want- carelessly blogging and catting online with hot babes all day. I sit here in an Internet cafe the smells of cleaning solution and incense feeding the need to blog like there is no tomorrow.

Well I started working last week. Starbucks. Well thats all I have to say about that. Oh Sandi I think you'd really thrive at the location I work at; its right in a business area and between 8 and 9 there is a large population of stone cold foxes in suits that come in basically begging to be hit on and called boyfriend even though you've never met them before. I contemplate using your boyfriend technique for breaking the ice and eventually dating some of these customers, but then I remember you do this and are still single and decide to just use sarcasm to brighten there day.

I started at the Beehive waitressing and battening on Sunday. I started by training a bit- nothing too crazy. Really good story right off the bat though. First you must know that the pub was originally a hotel and therefore has about three million different ways of getting around places and five different staircases and I really only know how to get to two places that are not the main floor bar: the kitchen, and the staff room. Alright so I was told to go put my jacket in the office- no idea how to get there so I figured I'd just put it in the staff room- walk in and there is a guy sitting there in his underwear. What I do? Well drop my coat and say HI in an awkwardly loud voice then leave with my head down. What does he do? Nothing. Ever. I saw him about ten times that day and he said nothing- not even hi or hey my name is___. Britt (who works in the kitchen and met this guy before) had to inform me that his name was Tommy and hes an angry Pole.

Anyways After that trauma I actually killed my shift. There were only three people working from 10-5, me the assistant manager and the manager. So I get taught some stuff then get sent out to the first customer of the day. Hot young guy and his girlfriend (referred to from now on as hottay). Here is how my service to them went italics indicate inner monologue:
Me-hi how are you
hottay: Good. Whats in haggis
Me: fuck, stay cool -I have no idea I'm Canadian-good one
hottay: oh awesome well I'm not sure I want to know whats in it anyways, not sure if I'll get it
Me: be a man order it nice one jackass Rachel
hottay: hahahaha you're right I'll get that
witty witty joke joke throughout meal, clever banter at every opportunity.
Me: anything else for you
Hottay: yea your number- just the bill thanks
BOOM 40% tip.

Continued all day with more successful banter.

Britt and I are settling into our place now. Mom I got your package yesterday and it was awesome!!! The best part was the Triscuit crackers- and Britt's face when I opened up the Canuck socks. oh and the Carter Christmas Card and note by Heather- okay it was all awesome!!!

Messages to pass on:
*public transit is my savior
*apparently "ta" is the same as thank you in Scotland. It feels like I'm a child and I'm about to put something dangerous in my mouth.
*Happy birthday mom!!

Unemployment- more like funemployment

Today is the last day I have off before officially launching back into the world of employment. I will indeed be working at The Bux as well as a pub called the beehive. Had a short shift yesterday at Starbucks and back into the world of corporate ridiculum. I work with a Canadian- small world you say? well hes from Victoria, lived in Kelowna, and is here to play hockey; I just can't escape. Britt starts on Monday at her pub job. So we are both happily employed.

We spent our first night in our flat last night. It was pretty good/cold. I have nothing funny to say about it right now so I'll save a description for another time- I'll post some pics as well so you can have a lovely visual.

Messages to pass on:

*you have to pay some sort of tv tax here- thats shit

*starbucks only give 1/2 pound marckouts- cheapos

*I'm in Edinburgh for anyone who is still unclear (mom)

Batting 500

Thanks for all the well wishes for the interviews today- they worked! I got offered two jobs right after the interviews and am waiting on phone calls from the other two.

The first job offer was from- drum roll: Starbucks. Pretty much nailed the interview- not because I've worked there before and had been asked the exact same questions before, no sir; it was because of the wise words of my father "Remember the 3 keys to interviewing. Charm, Charm and Charm". Really there was no stopping me after I was delivered that golden ticket of wisdom.

Job number two is at a pub called The Beehive. Big pub in a section of town called the Grassmarket. With three smooth interviews down and the crown jewel of fatherly tips in my pocket this bar manager really didn't know what hit him: Charm out the wazoo. You want wit? I'll take you shopping at wit-mart. Oh its cleverness you're looking for? Well welcome to the land of clever- population Rachel. Within ten minutes of the interview I was getting a tour of the place, and asking which I'd like better part time or full time- which ever worked better for me...
I mean the interview went well and I got the job- start Sunday.

Messages to pass on:
*Tomorrow we move in!
*I have to buy black pants and collared shirt- why would I bring mine from home- too easy.
*keep up the good work commenters
*believe I'll get a library card tomorrow- any good book suggestions

Pub Crawl

So setting out last week giving out resumes Britt and I figured we'd get a couple phone calls over the weekend for interviews and what not. We were wrong. Not one phone call...all weekend...from anyone....50 resumes- 0 calls. Seriously!? It was like we had printed them out on toilet paper and handed them in used.

Sunday- depression hit. I mean nothing that sitting in on a dress rehearsal for a barber shop choir Christmas pageant won't cure, but a slump none the less.

Today we set out with the task of visiting places we had dropped resumes at already to follow up, and drop off even more. Again more disappointment with being turned aways with no hope of employment- even at Dirty Dick's!

One bright spot we got to meet up with Landlord Steve and make final agreements on lease and all that so the flat is officially ours (move in on Wednesday!).

After dropping my resume off at a BMW dealership, I decided to try my luck at a different Starbucks (I know-desperation). Like other place I was assured it would make its way to the manager. A minute later I receive a phone call from said manager and had an impromptu interview where I believe I received a job offer.

Leaving Starbucks after setting up a real interview for tomorrow, and feeling a little better, Brittany and I received five more phone calls for different interview all for tomorrow!

First interview is at Hog's head- bar job. I'm optimistic, not because of my vast bar experience- I have none- or because of my cunning whit and capabilities to participate in clever banter-my confidence in those areas are far higher then it should be- but because they were playing an American football game on the TV when I went in and that means there is a possibility they could play hockey in the bar and I could definitely dazzle patrons with my knowledge of such a purely Canadian sport. Three giant fist pumps in the air for national stereotypes!

Wish Britt and myself luck in the interviews tomorrow!

Messages to pass on:
*Alas as we move into our new digs on wed and will not have a computer, the blogs may be spread further apart- not to fret they will still come, and will undoubtedly have more content!
*they play Ally McBeal here a lot- its actually a great show, hilarious. Reintroduce yourself.
*everyone feel free to comment- I know there are some closet readers out there- and mom keep up the good work.

Gavin & Stacey

Today I didn't walk for miles and miles around the city. It was great. Instead I watched two great programs. Chitty chitty bang bang- never seen it before to Britt's shagrin, and Gavin & Stacey- its a show on teh BBC and its probably the funniest TV show I've seen. I actually bought the first season on dvd already. If you have a chance to watch it for sure do it its hilarious (its on surf the channel).

In other news Britney Spears is in the same country as I am- well England but its technically Great Britain and thats where I am- oh and Mylie Cyrus- their coming over to visit us later becuase we're bff.

Messages to pass on:
*single tear for the fact I'm not sliding around Kelowna streets in the volvo- I miss those days
*haven't tried haggis yet- someday soon maybe (Sandi I think its a dish you'd be keen on)
*can't believe its two days away from december already!!
*did the title of the blog make you think that I made two new friends? -I haven't (except Mylie and Britney of course)

2 days flat

Success! Today we got our very own flat! Its actually super sweet. Its a quick bus trip right into the centre of the city and its in a really nice neighbourhood- right beside the national rugby stadium and the biggest ice rink in the country! It's like the ice was calling us home. There is currently a spare bedroom and tonnes of space so the invite is out to all to come stay with us!!!

Before we agreed to get that flat we looked at a couple others. Both pretty good, a little too far out of town though. A very nice women showed us around a nice flat that backed onto a golf course once we saw the flat she said she wanted to show us the garden. Sweet a garden swank. Well the "garden" was swamp land with a clothes line running through it. Pretty.

Anyways after deciding on a flat we continued handing out CV's. My favorite place of potential employment today had to go to a bar names "dirty dick's". Fingers crossed for that one.

Messages to pass on:
*I'm really glad everyone enjoyed my FB status. For those who missed it is was "Britain's gift to Christmas http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=asq7TW4bRBU" definitely check that out if you haven't already
*Britt and I have realized we are very quiet and grumpy- when we are hungry. the afternoon is always quite fun
*I think Carter may be more tanned then I am- I showed someone his picture today and they didn't believe he was born end of October cause hes a man child.
*keep those fingers crossed for jobs

Monster.co.uk

The last two days have been spent figuring out visas and banking, trying to find work, and trying to find a flat.

Today Britt and I handed out resumes, or CV's as they are known here, all over the city centre. We are going back again tomorrow. Basically they are going into every place I wouldn't work at if I were at home, but since I'm a hobo vagabond I'm just itching at the chance to be considered a successful applicant. Strabucks for instance- fingers crossed on that one cause I'm pretty sure I can handle that- except for the part where there is black cherry mochas for the holidays (is this also in Canada?) what the F.

Also pubs have been targeted. All different types- ones with restaurants, small ones, ones in hotels, ones that had a bunch of old men outside smoking, a single person on staff, two Texas mickeys of whiskey hanging upside down from the wall being used for shots, and a bunch of backpacks in one of the corners- basically the kind of establishments you would find in Canada.

I'm really counting on a job in the service industry to get me by for now for two reasons:
1. we were told customer service is crap in Scotland and if you actually provide good service they love that shit and will tip you
2. my very exotic and cute Canadian accent will intrigue customers (mostly of the hot male variety) and cause them to spend money in the place I'm working, making me look good, increasing my wage and possibly resulting in tips- maybe if I'm really lucky friends!

We also checked out our first flat today. I'm not going to describe it because I don't want to jinx it- I'll just say that I'd actually invite you guys over to stay with us if we decide to go for it.

Tomorrow is round two- same drill. Wish us luck!!!!!

PS - dad I'm also looking for real jobs- these were just much more fun to write about, and will hopefully tie my over till I get one.

Back to the home land

Yesterday went something like this:
-get up at 5am
-get driven into Dublin by a man named 'Fat Frank'
-take a bus from Dublin to Belfast
-get a Ferry from Belfast to Turin
-take bus from Turin to Edinburgh
-smell someone having a smoke in washroom of bus
-arrive in Edinburgh at 6:00pm
The funny thing is that the man went for a smoke on the bus and we had been on the bus about 2 hours. I guess when you are jonesing for a smoke you just got to have it- is that right Sandi?

Today we are going to get our lives together and prepare to go into the city tomorrow to look for work and a place to live. Lets be honest I'll probably end up working at Starbucks- those bastards are back all over the city in Edinburgh. HOWEVER not a drive-thru in sight!!

Messages to pass on:
*hi Carter
*hi Luther
*Freya: don't badger me about blogging- Cut it out; Stop (just mouth the word)
*I'll try and find our roots here Gillis clan

Rugby Week

So this week we went to two major rugby games. the first was Munster vs. The all blacks. This was an unbelievable game because Munster is just a club team and The All Blacks are the number one in the world New Zealand national team. the reason it was so big was because Munster and The All Blacks played 30 years ago and Munster win and they haven't played since.

The atmosphere was just amazing, crazy crazy fans everywhere. The riot police were there so you know its a great time to be had. Munster lost, but it was a brilliant game.

Yesterday we went to Ireland vs. Argentina game at the national stadium in Dublin. INSANE- the amount of people there, the chanting in the crowd, being so close to those giant men in short shorts- great time. Ireland won!

Today we get to have a day with no train or bus rides which I'm quite excited about. Tomorrow Scotland!

Messages to pass on:

*that says attendance 68,352!

*the picture layout really pissed me off and I couldn't get it to work

*is it snowing there yet?

Everyone sings like an American

The last couple nights we've been staying in a hostel in Cork city. Its good, have our own bathroom and everything. However the cover on my bed if pulled up to me chin leaves my feet hanging out. Its some sort of miniature transient blanket from 'Hobos R Us' or something.

Last night we went to a CD release party for a band called Remma ( their big single is forcibly impressed). They played a pretty good set quite entertaining. They had three warm up acts, the last of which was a band compiled of a drummer a lead guitar, bass guitar, and a singer. The band themselves were alright but the singer could not have played on key if his pompus- Gallagher brother want to be- life depended on it. Icing on the cake- how he pulled out a flute during the last song of their set and just went to town.

Tomorrow we are headed back to Castlerea to collect all our things and then off to Dublin on Saturday to watch the Ireland Argentina Rugby game and on to Scotland Sunday!

Messages to pass on:
*I've seen one Starbucks since I've been here- in an airport- glorious
*the phrase "tickle me pink" in Ireland includes the word Fuck and nothing to do with tickling
*got told I talked like Hannah Montana but Britt's little cousin

Tacky Tourist

This past week was pretty great. Filled with travels around Ireland and stops in with all Britt's relatives. We headed up to Boyle on Tuesday to see an aunt and her family and went down to Sligo for a pint at a pub. While we were there there was some traditional music going on and a couple fellows came through the door who I had no idea who they were but Britt immediately got excited and said they were the Celtic tenors. We got in a free concert of theirs in this tiny pub and ended up chatting away with them through the night- pretty much celebrities.

It was back to Castlerea the next night for dinner with a cousin and possibly a pint afterward. Well by the time dinner was finished the pubs were closed up- but because this is Ireland Britt's cousin rang a buddy and we were off the Kate's where the barman let us in and we found a number of patrons still enjoying themselves in side. And of course by the end of the night its 5am all the doors are locked everyone is smoking inside, a guy is telling you he was going to be a member of Boyzone, and the bartender has made everyone a bowl of soup- class

We wished a tearful goodbye to Patty yesterday at the Dublin airport and Britt and I headed out to take tourist pics that would put Japanese tourists to shame. We hit all the spots, road on the top of a double-decker sight seeing bus, and of course took the tour of the Guinness factory (certified in pouring a perfect pint now- no big deal).

Messages to pass on:

*they say feck and shit but bleep out ass on the tv here

*Heather I took a pick at the Guinness factory just for you

*bought a cell phone yesterday so you can call and text whenever you want!!!

*you know you need to get some sun when an old Irish man makes a comment on how pale you are

*this is a map of the travels we've done

making out with rocks

Rough night in Cork followed my last post but we still made it out to Blarney where we toured the castle and kissed the Blarney stone! I'm supposed to have the gift of the gab now- I'd say I do in deed.

Britt showed us all around Cork and basically did a tour of downtown and the pubs. Next night we headed to Kilarney and spent a night in. Next up was a stop in to Galway to Britt's cousin and a night out on the scene- I won't describe it all but to be honest I ended up ralphing in her neighbour's bin. Good times.

Just a quick note this time- but I've seen a lot of Ireland and met lots of great people!!

Messages to pass on:
*Canada was playing Ireland here in rugby and was beat 55-0 wow
*great tourist pics up soon
*how did Courtney Love do?

Clench

Well I had a lot on my plate the first few days I was here and now I'm out and about the country seeing sights and traveling around towns.

First of all driving- Britt is doing so well navigating around. Its the opposite side of the road and the roads are about as wide as one lane of traffic, on the old swap road, but with cars parked on both sides. Its absolutely ridiculous. And you can park in which ever direction you want so I find it hard to even determine what side of the road you should even be on. The "highways" are not only that narrow but are also lined with stone walls on either side, which are very beautiful, but actually cause me to clench my ass every time I see on coming traffic. I swear I'm going to have buns of steal in no time (which works well with me constant wardrobe of lulus)

We went to a shrine of Mary today in knock where we saw some beautiful old churches and shrines and were assaulted by a man's ass breath while he attempted to tell us a story about his priest brother.... or something- I think I may go to hell for that comment (Sandi you seem to have a close connection to the spiritual world, help me out).

We headed out on the road yesterday where I got to see the beautiful country side and all the castle ruins- its the most incredible sight to see I can't come close to describing. I also saw the incredible sight of a boy about four years old going to the doorway of a store and proceeding to pee- when his mother realized she started spanking him which in turn cause him to pee all over the doormat- great times.

We were on our way to Killkenny. Here I learned all about Hurling- not the kind that I like to do after too many vodkas- the sport that involves a football field huge sticks a baseball like ball, tackling like in rugby, a goal like in soccer, uprights like in football, no padding whatsoever, and basically insanity to participate- its amazing. Britt Patti and I enjoyed a few Killkeny by the fire in a pub then move on to antoher pub where we listened to some traditional irish tunes (trad songs as the locals would say).

Today we were on our way again more castles and churches to see. We stopped in at the Jamison distillery and had an authentic shot of Jamison whiskey and a quick look around the factory. Next was a stop in the town where the titanic picked up its last passengers before setting out the sea; basically where it picked up Leonardo DiCapprio when he won his ticket in a game of cards.

Now we are in Cork- where Britt used to live! We are about to head out to a pub to watch a Liverpool game.

Messages to pass on:
*pictures up soon hopefully!
*so many sheep in fields with stone walls just like the movies
*I don't like whiskey
*the thoughts in my head to myself are now in an Irish accent

Warn Tow Tree Fur Tell May That Chu Lurve May Mur

In Ireland there is no such thing as the word "my" - only me- thats it. Its a whole different language actually, and when they are drinking at a wedding thats basically what the title of this blog is made of.

I arrive in Catslerae (where Britt's family lives) on wed night and soon discovered that like most Irish towns it is made up of one basic road and outskirts. The town its self has about 2500 people (tops) and about 30 pubs, give of take a few...

So first thing on the adgenda- wedding. The night before the wedding I met the bride (always good thing to do before attending someones wedding). We came just as she was figuring out what her something old something new etc. was going to be. She had it all excpet something blue. Enter Rachel with a Canadian five dollar bill. She had it taped to the inside of her shoe the whole day and night.

The wedding itself was traditional full length catholic wedding- compelete with the preist thanking them for choosing appropriate music that wasn't all abotu love- he was pretty much an old bastard that no one in the family liked.

The reseption was in clargallway at a hotel and this is where Britt was so sick with the flu she didn't make it to the fesivities and I had too much to drink and may have fallen on the dance floor- my first impressions are incredible.

Next day everyone gets together in a pub in hell's kitchen and watches a movie of teh wedding (incase we forgot by then?) Anyways another one of Britt's cousins was singing with his band and it was pure class. Next day was basically recovery from the two before.

messages to pass on:

*WELCOME CARTER!!! (your mouth is freakishly identicle to Jason's)
*Sandi I'm not sure if you are welcome in Ireland based on the reaction to your halloween costume (sorry abou tthat one)
*the two year old in the house I'm staying in loves to say Jesus when hes angry
*hows the weather at home?

Lulu in London

First post from my travels comes from heathrow airport in london where i've been delayed again for two hours. typing this on a keyboard with keys similar to a pay phone, a space bard the size of my finger nail and i've given up on upper case. don't worry though there are specific buttons for :-( and :-). thank goodness...

good news though, i've got some great tunes going and my flight over seas i had a free seat beside me.

unlike a canadian airport, i'm the only one here in lulu lemon pants, and though i'm physically very comfortable, the way the guy across the row on the plane asked m if i wanted a drink only after i struggled to put y carry on inthe over head compartment with my back facing him made me re think the "toit"-ness of the pants. this kiosk i'm at also has no chair so i'm in a strattle squat position that lulu is again making m reconsider.

good news! a jolly scotsman asked me for directions- i obviously had nothing to offer, however i take that as i look approachable and knoweldgable pretty much key to surrvival on the road.

(at the end of each post i'm making a new section where i pass on info or ak you for info so heres the first one)

messages to pass on:
*am i an aunt yet?
*good luck today dad
*sandi download closer- kings of leon
*scottish men seem to have unusually large calves and like wear man capris

Soothing Assault

So got a gift certificate for a facial- not one to have bought that for myself but was super pumped on receiving one. So I go to book this thing and after they try to trick me into getting one that is well over the value of the certificate I have I book me some good old fashioned spa time.

So maybe some background on me and the spa: Every single time I've gone its been because I received a gift certificate. I actually enjoy myself when I'm there, I'm just way to cheap to purchase any of these luxuries for myself. First visit to a spa I got a massage- first half of message I just felt really uncomfortable about being naked and touch by a stranger without them getting me really drunk first. Second half I was asleep, and woke up greasy and alone in a dimly lit room as if I had indeed been ingesting multiple cocktails.

So I arrive for my facial and have to fill out this form- I figure its like some mail in thing they use to get your address and assault you with "specials". To my surprise it is questions about yourself and at the top of each column is "earth" "fire" "wind" and "water". I mean if there was another column that said "heart" then I probably would have really embraced this Captain Planet spa, alas there was no "heart" column. I basically thought, OK here we go I'm going to go for a facial and come out categorized by nature and in a cult where everyone has nice skin (could be worse I suppose).

I get through my nature based awakening and start the facial (again I have to be naked even though its neck up) and is is quite nice and relaxing. Things are going good, except when she touches my neck because I have a phobia of that, but thats a different blog all together. I worry at one point that she is going to go over her time and try and make me pay for it- but then relaxing again. And then it begins- some sort of cruel punishment of my pores with some metal tools. Actually had tears coming down my face. I didn't move a muscle basically because all I could think of was I'm paying for this torture and I'm pretty sure I'm going to come out scared and there is no way this lady even finished high school let alone is train enough to be doing what feels like surgery on my face.

well although I'm sure the rest of the facial was very calming but I was too busy having a running inner monologue of "what the fuck just happened" and "what the hell happens in the 60 minute session".

I got out of there alive with a face that was in shock, smelled like gin, and I would probably now classify as "fire".

I have a big zit on my forehead today- fuck you spa.

Lloyd

This compilation goes out to Freya and Lloyd:

DDR

Watching people dance is probably one of the funniest things you can do. After attending a recent party and witnessing the glory of spontaneous dancing I think I've come up with solid categories that most people's dancing styles fit into:

The Self conscious weight transfer guy: This person probably hasn't been drinking. They are well aware of their surroundings, and that people may be watching them dance. They opt to simply transfer their wight from left to right foot and back again. Surprising how this dance can be used in every genera of dance.

The Head wobbler (see also closed eyed groover): Often one of the more intoxicated persons, the head wobbler often has chosen to simply lean against a supportive object (ie. wall, person), close their eyes, and sway their head back and forth. It is common for the head wobbler to inject spontaneous "woots" and a sporadic fist pumps into their dancing.

The Air guitarist (see also lead singer): fairly self explanatory. surprisingly easily transfers into slower genres of music by becoming "the violinist".

The slut: Two words: all hips. Often a closed eye, and raised eyebrow accompanies lip licking in this bar hoping wonder. extra points goes to those who can integrate hair flipping in any way.

The Jumper: The most dangerous of dancers, this beast will continue jumping no matter who or what is in their way. Most suitable for upbeat dancing, the jumper will most likely focus on the jumping itself and air fist pumping. When the slow songs come on, "the jumper" can quickly transform into "the head wobbler"

Closed eye groover: Unlike "the slut" these closed eyes are boarder with relaxed brows and seemingly docile expressions. Often spotted in a crouched bopping position and octupuss like arm movements the "groover" surprisingly hardly ever runs into things.

The lead singer: Very often seen with "the air guitarist", "the lead singer" has acquired an invisible microphone and is belting every word in it. Some how this person knows the words to almost every song, and if they don't they will "fool" you into thinking they do with low groans, and repeating the words a half second after the song does.

The Elaine: All thumbs and little kicks should come to mind when witnessing this warlock. The Elaine can be combo-ed with a number of other styles including "the jumper"

The Trained Dance (see also the choreographer): This person has been taking dance lesson their whole life. Although the lessons has been jazz and ballet and are not accompanied by the music being played, this dancer believes that their training makes them a much better dancer then any other. given the right sampling of tunes the "trained dancer" may become a hybrid referred to as "the choreographed slut"

The Choreographer: This dancer is waiting for a few key music selections where they can show their skills acquired from watching the same music video over and over again on you tube. The ideal situation for "the choreographer" would be to hear that special BSB/NSYNC song and be surrounded in a circle by their clapping peers. When one of those songs is not playing this dancer can often transform into "the slut" simply because of their longing to be in a music video.

Lyrics

copy pasting song lyrics into your postings based on your mood and to convey your emotions. I like a good tune and to listen to maybe even learn the lyrics but I don't need to rip them off lyrics.com and paste them to let everyone no "everybody hurts sometimes". Give me a break and go back to middle school where you can't stop yelling your emotions to the world.



No offense.

Star Power?

So guilty pleasure of mine- and by guilty I mean I don't feel any sort of guilt when participating- is reading star gossip blogs, and watching MTV. Really just enjoy it okay. Anyways with all the election hype (in both Canada and the US) there has been the re-kindling of campaigns like "vote or die", "rock the vote" etc. that try and get stars to encourage people to get out and vote.

I don't know if it works but the fact is that even politics had become something celebs can put their face on and intermingle with pop culture.

What I find interesting though was the various Canadian bands that were interviewed on MTV encouraging their listeners to vote. Awesome. Do it. Whatever is going to get people to actually participate, I mean its an important part of how we are going to live over the next few years.

What is interesting however is that when asked the question, a certain lead vocalist of a certain band said that he hasn't voted and won't until "there is an issue I'm concerned about" Are you kidding me? I'm just speechless- apparently he is too because he just gave up any say he had in how his country is going to shape up to be. That's great Mr "I'm so arty and emotional I could never partake in anything so main stream as voting". What a douche.

Maybe all these celebrities should just leave well enough alone, I mean half the time they are advocating voting and don't even do it themselves. Or maybe its just my personal sources of news. Ignorant people...ignorant media outlets?

Hey next time you are at a concert in a certain front row centre position look up at the performer and say "Did you vote today?" If they basically stop performing and step away from the mic, good chance they didn't.

VOTE

Everyone get out and vote- as someone who has the right to vote you better not waste it! Plus if you don't go out and vote today you have no right to complain about the party that get elected, and you're a loser.

Thank God for friends

Really where would you be without the constant ridicule and esteem crushing banter of a good friend.

You're feeling down and hey why not just give them a clean swift kick in the ribs- really make sure you bottom out, maybe even comment on the spelling of their blog title after they proclaim that spelling is not their strength, just for example.

Now you read this and think oh but my Friends are the best in the world, we even has a nickle plated heart that breaks in half and I have one half while my bestie has the other so we are always together (don't act like you've never had one)- but really you don't have them around to feel good, they are there to let you know what is what.

See a good friend would be one who may mention "I actually don't think you are a size six- maybe just at the Gap" or "way out of your league don't even try"

So when you get told those blunt bangs you had last winter made you like a spokes model for Additionelle, take a good deep breath and have pride that you know you've found a keeper

Post is over because the silver mulleted Canada Post vixen came for her bi-hourly smoke with her partners in the office beside me and I have to call in her double parked ass.

Inaugural Post

Needed to start up a place where people can track me on my travels throughout the year. However I’m not gone yet so maybe updates on how excited I’m to leave.

Title of the blog really has nothing to do with anything- thought it was catchy.

This post is going to be free of error because I’m such a great speller- or I’m typing it in word first and the a little copy paste action so technology rid me of any errors ( please don’t leave comments below about all the errors that are still in here; if you do, you’ve just become reason number one why I’m leaving Kelowna). For instance it took me several tries to even get word to suggest the proper spelling for the word inaugural (and just used it again to fix my second misspelling of it).

Don’t act like you don’t do it.

Don’t be surprised when I hit the road and it goes to shambles. I’ll barely spell my name right. If you’re lucky I’ll type in my new accent I’ll acquire on the road.

By the way I’m at work and looking out the window so if you drive a silver Mazda 3 hatchback- I just saw you pick your nose.