So today I went into work for four hours- four hours of sampling. This means that for four hours I made drinks put them into miniature cups and then stood outside and handed them out for free. Let me put this into perspective. I had to stand outside, which in the case of my Starbucks is on a corner, with a men's XL cherry red fleece with a Starbucks symbol on the sleeve, chanting 'sugar free vanilla latte for you?' to the passers by. To be honest I could really give a shit- everyone else I work with was crapping their pants laughing because they and I quote "would rather stick pins in their eyes" then do that. I mean I didn't have to do anything else today and interesting things happen when you are out on the street.
Interesting thing number one would be a homeless-esque man who took a toffee nut latte that I made and stood in front of me exclaiming that that drink was divine. He then proceeded to tell me my eyes were divine, and my hair colour, and my smile were all divine. Thankfully I gave away my last drink at that time. When I went inside he followed me in and went to a different spot. I told my coworkers about this man and they said "oh ya that's the guy who performs mini exorcisms- hes not allowed in here anymore because he told Grace (Asian) that he loves 'oriental' women and his wife is a mail order bride." thanks for the heads up everyone.
Next would be an elderly lady who came up to me when a rush of people were getting free samples. She waited for everyone to disperse (about two minutes) and then said to me "no thank you I just had a coffee down the street" Are you kidding me, just because I make a blanket invitation to about half of Edinburgh for a free drink does not mean you need to personally RSVP a declination- move along fossil you're slowing down business.
Freya was asking about any characters that fit the description of those back home- aka Cluny and Sandi. Well everyone knows there is no finding anyone who match the splendor that is that oddly tanned duo- however there are some similar if not mildly entertaining people. While the cynicism and general Scrooge-like demeanor of Cluny cannot be matched there is one person I work with who is completely aggravated by the elderly, children, and women with strollers. Just can not stand them- however the ladies with the strollers- aka prams- are total bitches who rarely buy anything except for one tea between the six of them and then somehow leave the place with raisins all of the floor, carrots in the cushions of seats and usually some sort of bodily fluid on the tables.
Which brings me to my next point. Baby-chinos. No these are not pants you can buy your kid from the gap, they are an espresso cup filled with foam that people give to their small children. ARE YOU KIDDING ME. People actually order at the end of there list '...and two baby chinos please'. I'm so close to a melt down its not even funny. Get your kid a yogurt or an apple juice you pretentious ass hats.
Messages to pass on:
*I acutally quite like th starbucks I'm at and all the people I work with
*I'm considering buying a leather jacket- comments?
*Britt and I laughed for about an hour the other day because I turned to her and said how its nice the holidays are over becuase all teh tourists are gone- who I'm I trying to kid?!
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4 comments:
Excellent post. I actually read it outloud because Carter was laying in my lap - and he actually giggled! One of his first times! He loves your blog!
I think I might order a baby chino next time either cluny or sandi is working. And I'll have you know that Carter and his "pram" are very well behaved when we enter s-bucks.
freya if you order a babychino from me i will give you a death glare, and then hand carter a quad espresso and you two will be up for 83 hours straight. and i'll make sure that it's stirred... by a mini hand.
rachel - best post ever. i was thinking about the sampling shifts at our store and who they were given to, and i'm sorry to say, but, rach, you might just be "that" partner.
or maybe they think that you're over-abundance of social skills with your specialization of making 'people feel comfortable' will help with business.
"no thank you i just had a coffee down the street."
mission failed.
Mom pointed out something that I had missed in the previous blog, two words that I just can get passed:
Shit Waitress
amazing.
i bet your red hair looked really good with that red fleece jacket.
you stay classy scotland.
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